In a world that wants you scared and pissed off, we need

stories from a guy who’s not a dick.

A man with a bald head and a beard holds a black jacket over his shoulder, looking upward against a dark background.
buy my book so jeff bezos can build more rocket ships

Remember when the internet was fun?

Back when a website had a bunch of stupid stuff on it that was interesting because the person who made the website thought it was interesting? And not because some algorithm stole all of your browser history and optimized your content feed to trigger dopamine hits intended for you to purchase items related to guilty pleasures that no one knew about other than the internet? Or tried to terrify you into thinking there was a secret government plot to destroy your life, make you ugly, and enjoy KPop?

Welcome to www.csbeaty.com

It’s like getting a beer with an old college buddy you’ve been meaning to catch up with, and then he starts telling you stories and showing you photos on his phone. And you think it’s dumb. And he knows you think it’s dumb. But man, it was fun catching up with the guy.

Outrage is not a virtue.

Loser*: A Survival Guide To High School Popularity

While a teen in small town Nebraska, Chris took purity pledges, listened to emo music, played drums in marching band, shot guns competitively, and worked at a Boy Scout camp. He had a crush on every popular girl he met, but he never told them. Some of the hot girls found out though, and that’s when things got weird.

 

Loser* is C.S. Beaty’s debut memoir about growing up as a millennial in the Midwest and realizing that even though you feel like a loser, that doesn’t mean you are one.

The cover of a book titled "A Memoir of a Loser: A Survival Guide to High School Popularity" by C.S. Beaty. The cover features a smiling young man with curly hair and blue eyes, with playful doodles of devil horns, a mustache, and a star surrounding the title.
buy loser

Reading this killed any romanticism I had about my high school experience.

DAVID NANCE

David Nance & Mowed Sound

Grand Island Senior High Class of 2006

Chris- Thank you for your order. I did not have any more autograph photos.

HANNAH HUSTON

Season 10 Finalist, The Voice

Grand Island Senior High Class of 2009

Ooooo, I’m sorry I’m just getting to this! Thinking of something now.

MEGAN SIEBE

Cellist, Cursive

Grand Island Senior High Class of 2007

I read about half of what you wrote one day last week and appreciated it. I didn’t get the second half done.

MATT WHITMAN

The Ten-Minute Bible Hour

 

I skimmed your whole book… I am officially a fan.

CHARLENE SWANKIE

Actress, Nomadland

Sweatier than a teenage boy in a platypus costume at a Christian rock festival.

STEVE WHITE

Farm Director of the Rural Radio Network, former NTV News Grand Island Bureau Chief

This makes me glad I went to an all-girls school.

TERESA PRINCE CONWAY

These United Cookies

I Write Stories.

The job of an artist is to look at the world and describe what you see.

-Derek Webb

Read my blog
A black bookshelf with vintage typewriters on two shelves and books on the side.

I Tell Stories.

Every human being is a meaning maker, a theologian, a philosopher, or an anthropologist, always taking things apart to understand what they mean.

-Paul David Tripp

listen to my podcast
Typewritten text reading 'AS TOLD BY C. S. BEATTY' on a white background.
A man and woman on stage at a public event. The man is speaking into a microphone and holding papers, while the woman is signing or gesturing with her hands. A green and blue banner is in the background.

I share stories.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You too! I thought I was the only one.”

- The Other C.S.

Meet my friends:

Typed letter with a signature overlaying the text. The letter is signed by Hollywood Fudd.
meet haywood fudd
An elderly man seated in a cluttered workspace, reading a paper, with a microphone in front of him, a laptop open with audio editing software, a standing lamp, and various office supplies and posters on the wooden paneled wall behind him.
meet uncle bob

tell me your storIes.

You can use this fancy form, or just do it the old fashioned way and send me an email to alieneagle51@csbeaty.com. That’s what I would do if I were you.

A man sitting at a table in a dimly lit restaurant or pub, holding a phone in one hand. The wall behind him has framed photos, a clock, and candles. There is a wall-mounted lamp on the wall.